Privacy notice

What we collect

Your email address, to sign you in with a link and to send you your introductions. If you joined with your mobile number instead, the matchmaker asks for it, and nothing is sent there until you confirm it.

If you choose “Continue with Google”: the identifier of your Google account and its email address, which Google sends us when you sign in. Nothing else from your Google account.

Your mobile number, confirmed once by a texted code before your first introduction (members who joined with it also sign in with it). One number is one member: that is how the site keeps a person from joining many times over. Nobody is ever shown it.

The basics the matchmaker asks for exactly: a first name, whether you are a woman, a man or non-binary, whom you would like to meet, your date of birth (only your age is ever shown) and your city.

What you tell the matchmaker in conversation, and the notes it keeps from that. This can include sensitive things, such as whom you are attracted to, your faith, or whether you want children. We ask for your explicit agreement before the first question, and you can withdraw it by deleting your account.

Optionally: up to six photos. The town you live in, as a place from the GeoNames list of places, and its centre; or, if you let your browser share it, your own position rounded to about one kilometre. Either is used to say roughly how far away someone lives, to choose your city’s list and, if you ask, to name your town.

To suggest your city when you arrive, the site looks at the rough place your internet connection comes from (a country or a city, never an address) or at the time zone your device is set to. That is used for the one suggestion, and to rank nearby places first when you search, and is not stored.

Your answers to introductions, the messages you exchange with a person you are introduced to, and anything you report.

What another member sees

Only a person you are introduced to sees anything, and only this: your first name, your age, what you do, roughly how far away you live and the name of your town or city, a two-sentence note, the matchmaker’s reasons for the introduction, and your photo, if you added one and they want to see photos.

The people who run Lazy Matchmaker can read conversations with the matchmaker and between introduced members, including sealed hellos and private pass reasons. They do so to investigate reports, keep the site safe, and check service quality. Each staff reading is recorded in an access audit.

No other member ever sees your conversation with the matchmaker, your phone number, your email address, your date of birth, your exact position, or whether you passed on them.

After a date we ask each of you how it went. Those answers help choose the answering member’s next introductions and are seen by our staff; they are never shown to the other person, and on their own they never change the other person’s standing.

Someone you were introduced to may, through their own conversation with the matchmaker and an AI app they connect, send what they wrote about you to that app.

What we do not do

No advertising, no advertising partners, no trackers, no analytics scripts from other companies. Every file this site loads comes from this site.

We do not sell or rent personal data, and we do not use it to train AI models.

Who processes it for us

The matchmaker runs on Claude, an AI model from Anthropic. Your conversation is sent to Anthropic to produce the matchmaker’s replies and notes; under our agreement it is not used to train their models.

Sign-in codes are texted through Twilio, which is given your number for that and nothing else. Emails are sent through Mailgun. Every visit to the site passes through Cloudflare, which carries and protects its traffic. The site, its database and your photos are kept on DigitalOcean’s servers in Frankfurt, Germany.

If you sign in with Google, Google knows you signed in here. Google receives that as a company acting on its own account, under its own terms and privacy policy; it is certified under the EU-U.S. Data Privacy Framework and its UK Extension.

Anthropic, Twilio, Mailgun, Cloudflare and DigitalOcean are companies based in the United States, so your information can be reached from there even when it is stored in Germany. For people in the EU and the UK, each transfer is covered by the provider’s data processing terms, which are part of our agreement with it. For Anthropic and Mailgun: the European Commission’s standard contractual clauses, with the UK Addendum to those clauses for people in the UK. For Twilio and DigitalOcean: their certification under the EU-U.S. Data Privacy Framework and its UK Extension, and, where that does not apply, Twilio’s binding corporate rules or, for either, the standard contractual clauses with the UK Addendum. For Cloudflare: the standard contractual clauses with the UK Addendum, and its certification under the EU-U.S. Data Privacy Framework. For a copy of any of these terms, write to hello@lazymatchmaker.com.

If you connect an AI app

You can connect your account to an AI app, such as Claude, to check your status, change some settings or, if you also allow it, talk to the matchmaker from a chat. Nothing is shared until you sign in here and allow it, on a page that lists what that app can see and change.

A connected app can read your sign-in email, your account number, the city you joined, whether your membership is active, paused or left, whether you have accepted the current terms, your settings for photos before meeting, pace and matchmaker notes, what is waiting for you on this website (an introduction to answer and its deadline, a message from a match, a check-in), each as a notice with its date and a link, never the other person’s name, words or card, and your next step, which can say that you are dating someone you met here. If you also allowed changes, it can join or leave your city’s waiting list, pause or resume introductions and change those settings. The app is asked to show you each change and get your OK first; we make only a change it confirms from a preview we sent it. It cannot read your photos or anyone else’s profile, and it cannot read your conversation with the matchmaker unless you also allow that.

If you also allow changes to your profile, it can change your first name and correct your date of birth, only before your first introduction (the date only once), and change where you live to a town you choose. For a move we keep that town’s own position, never one from the app, so a town in another country than your phone number still has to be confirmed here with your location before any introduction. It can also give you a link to add photos on this website, signed in as yourself; the link lasts 15 minutes and adds photos, up to your limit. It sees how many photos you have and which is the main one, and it can make one the main one or remove one, but it never receives a photo. As with the other changes, the app is asked to show you each one first, and we make only a change it confirms from a preview we sent it.

If you also allow your answers after an introduction, the app can record your answers to the check-in after an introduction: whether you met, whether the person showed up and treated you with respect, and whether you would like to see them again. It is told only the date of the introduction, never the other person’s name. Answering that you were not treated with respect files a report about that person for a person here to read; the app is asked to show you that first, and we file it only when it confirms it from a preview we sent it. Filing it also ends your introduction with that person, as the Report button does. The answers you give pass through the app, so it sees them.

If you also allow it, the app can read and add to your conversation with the matchmaker and read what the matchmaker knows about you. That can include sensitive things you told it, such as whom you are attracted to or your faith. While it is connected, they can be sent to that app and its company; what it receives stays with it under its own terms. A message that arrives through an app is marked as sent through it, on this website and in the copy of your data.

Through a connected app we never send another member’s introduction card, photos or messages, nor the check-in questions and answers about an introduction. To what we do send, we apply a filter for the first names of the people you were introduced to; it may miss other forms of a name. The matchmaker’s own replies may mention an introduction in general terms. What you write yourself is sent as you wrote it.

We count how the connector is used (how often each tool is called and how it answers), by day, with nothing that identifies you.

While you approve a connection, this site keeps one security cookie in your browser for at most 30 minutes, so that only the browser where the app’s request began can approve it. It holds a random value and nothing about you, and it is removed once you allow or cancel; otherwise it runs out by itself.

We send this to the app because you ask us to, as part of the service under the terms you accepted. For your conversation and what the matchmaker knows about you, which can include sensitive information, we rely on your explicit agreement, given on the approval page by pressing Allow under its statement for that connection. If you don’t agree, choose Cancel: the app doesn’t get your conversation; any connection you already have stays as it was, and the website stays fully usable. Your agreement is withdrawn when you disconnect the last connection of that app that can read your conversation, and the next connection that asks for it asks again. What the app reads goes to it and to the company behind it, which handles it under the terms and privacy policy you have with that company, not on our behalf.

That is separate from the matchmaker itself, which runs on Anthropic’s models on our behalf, under our agreement (see “Who processes it for us”). An app you connect, Claude included, receives what it reads as its own, under your terms with its company.

A connection lasts at most 30 days. You can end it at any time on the You page, under Account, which also withdraws your agreement for the conversation if no other connection of that app can read it, and signing out everywhere ends it too; what the app already received stays with it. We keep a record of the connection (which app, when you allowed it, and a fingerprint of each access code, never the code itself) until 30 days after it would have run out.

Who runs it, and why we may use your information

Lazy Matchmaker is run by YLabs. For anything about your information, a copy, a correction, deletion or a question, write to hello@lazymatchmaker.com.

Where the law asks us to name a reason for each use, as in the EU and the UK, these are ours:

Running the service you signed up for (your account and sign-in, the conversation with the matchmaker and its notes, introductions, your messages, and the emails and texts we send) is necessary to provide it under the terms you accepted.

The sensitive things you choose to tell the matchmaker, such as whom you are attracted to or your faith, are used only with the explicit agreement you give before the first question, which also covers our staff reading the conversation for safety and quality. You can withdraw that agreement at any time by deleting your account; this does not undo what was done with it before.

Keeping members safe (reading reports, warnings and pauses, the staff access records, and the records kept after deletion) rests on our legitimate interests, which are also our members’ interests: protecting people from harassment, scams and abuse, keeping someone who was removed from joining again, and being able to show what happened if a report is disputed. Where a report contains sensitive information, it is kept and used only as far as needed to handle the report and to establish, exercise or defend legal claims.

Checking that the matchmaker works well, for example that its introductions and replies make sense, rests on our legitimate interest in a service that does what it says, and, where that means reading the sensitive things you told it, on your explicit agreement.

Running the site for everyone who visits it, members or not (the guess at your city, and the protection every visit passes through), rests on our legitimate interest in a site that works and is safe to use.

If you live in the EU or the UK, you can also complain to your data protection authority.

How long we keep it

Your conversation with the matchmaker, its notes, your introductions and private conversations are kept while your account exists. They have no automatic expiry.

Your account and conversation are kept while your account exists, even if you don’t sign in for a long time. You can delete it at any time on the You page.

The note that a sign-in code was asked for a number is deleted after a day; that code itself is never kept by this site. A sign-in email holds a link and a 6-digit code, which stop working after 15 and 10 minutes; the note that it was asked for is deleted after a day. This site’s kept copy of the email loses the code and the link once its sending is recorded or it is given up, or otherwise at a routine clean-up after it has been sent, has used up its tries or has run out. To stop guessing, this site also counts attempts at email codes, for each address under a protected fingerprint of it rather than the address itself, and for the whole site; those counts are kept for the current and the previous day (UTC), then removed at a routine clean-up. If you set a password, we keep only a salted, slow hash of it, never the password. While a new account waits for its email code, that hash is kept with the request, which is deleted after a day. We count failed sign-ins for each address, under a protected fingerprint of it rather than the address itself, to slow down guessing; those counts are removed at a routine clean-up a day after the last failure. A sent email is kept for 30 days; one that could not be sent, for 7.

Copies of the database are kept for recovery: backups for 7 days, and point-in-time recovery for 7 days. Something deleted stays in those copies until they roll over; if we ever restore one, we delete again, from our deletion records, the accounts deleted since.

When you send a message through a connected app, we keep a short record of that request (which app, when, and how it ended, without your words once the message is saved) for 30 days after it finished.

When a member deletes their account, the people they were introduced to keep, with their own accounts, a keyed fingerprint of that member’s first name, not the name itself. It is used only to keep that name out of what is sent to an AI app they connect, and it goes when their account goes.

Deleting your account on the You page removes the account, conversations, notes, photos, introductions and emails held here. Safety reports remain: your account link is removed, and reports about you retain a keyed fingerprint of your phone number. Staff access records also remain. Reports and access records are kept while they can still protect members from the person reported or be needed to answer a claim about what happened, and deleted when neither applies. An email already sent or being handed to the mail provider cannot be taken back; the provider keeps its own sending record. One last email goes to your confirmed address to confirm the deletion; we delete our copy of it once it is sent.

Your choices

Read what the matchmaker knows about you, on the You page, and correct it by telling the matchmaker.

Ask for a copy of everything we hold about you by writing to hello@lazymatchmaker.com, including the things you gave us in a form a computer can read.

Ask us to limit what we do with your information while a question about it is settled, or object to a use that rests on our legitimate interests. We then stop, unless our reasons, such as protecting other members, outweigh yours, and we tell you which.

For a year after deletion we keep a keyed fingerprint of your number with your date of birth, gender, when you were last introduced, warnings and any outstanding hold, and a record of the consents you gave (which ones, their versions, and when you gave or withdrew them), with nothing you said. This is kept only if your account had a confirmed phone number. It lets us recognize the same number on return without storing the number itself. Safety reports and staff access records are retained separately to investigate abuse.

Freeze your account to stop introductions without losing your account, or delete it to remove your account data as described above.

This site is for adults. We do not knowingly allow anyone under 18 to use it.